is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
