i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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