cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
