HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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