Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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