I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
