Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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