The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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