FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
