There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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