You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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