I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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