i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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