He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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