i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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