We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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