Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
