a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
All I want is dick and wine.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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