the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
