I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
