I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
