I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize