dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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