And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So vagazzling was a success
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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