if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize