"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize