Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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