So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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