Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
