i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
