isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
