I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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