Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
