I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize