he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
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I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
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Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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