Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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