It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
