its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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