I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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