all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my shit smells like andre
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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