Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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