Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
