your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just tell him i said nine months
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
