just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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