I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
