we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
