You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Fuck appropriateness.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
