My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
