I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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