Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
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I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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