They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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