cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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