We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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