dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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