Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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