I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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