Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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