the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
What drink are we having for lunch?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
